Oy. I wish I had something interesting to say, but I don't. I just need to kill time. I'm struggling to stay sane. The last 15 minutes of work sometimes seem to be the worst. They were obviously invented by the Axis of Evil. I don't know what I'm going to do if this company I interviewed with doesn't hire me. I haven't had any other prospects return my call for gainful employment, and this temp thing is the worst thing I've ever done.

In other news, I'm getting kind of addicted to this.

This might be one of the funniest articles I've ever read. These people can't be real. They are characters from some wacky novel. I swear.

Whoo-hoo! Updates!!! It's like a miracle or stuff. I actually wrote something. And let's just say that from now on, you can expect updates weekly. Riiiight.

My friend put this song on a mix tape she made for me, but she neglected to write who it is on the case. Jeorb. It sounds a little like Pinback. But I can't tell. It's driving me mad.

As is this temp job.

This sounds like a great idea.

I'm trying to convince myself the living in the US is not becoming a nauseating endeavor, but my convinction wanes a little more everyday.

"Lt. Gen. David McKiernan, the commander of ground forces in Iraq, issued a proclamation putting Iraq's politicians on notice, saying, 'The coalition alone retains absolute authority within Iraq.' He warned that anyone challenging the American-led authority would be subject to arrest."

But we aren't there to run the country for them. We're fully committed to an Iraqi government for Iraqis, made up of Iraqis, and under Iraqi control. Obviously.

You can read the article from which the above quote comes here.

"We've made clear to Iran that we would oppose any outside interference in Iraq's road to democracy." -Ari Fleisher, White House spokesman

Right. Because the US obviously doesn't constitute outside influence. This must be a new game, the "Let's See How Arrogant We Can Get" foreign policy game.

You can read all about it here.

Wow. I'm on some kind of roll - another new review up today.

If I don't find a decent job soon, I'm going to go completely batty. This place is starting to make me feel all full of rage and impotence or something. I hate doing busy work just for the sake of being kept busy. Especially when you know that what you're doing really isn't useful to anyone. I really don't want to complain too much. I'm just tired. I kept dreaming that our cat was breaking into my room and trying to eat my hand. Plus, I think I heard mice scuttling around upstairs, which made it nearly impossible to sleep. Jeorb.

In much more exciting news - my housemate and I went to see The Postal Service on Sunday night, and they were so badass. It might be the best show I've seen so far. The actually covered Phil Collins. HA! It was phenomenal. I have a new love.

I'm hoping to convince my good friend, the Empress Crystal, to write some words of wisdom for the Smarmy Gator, so you might actually have something interesting to look forward to.

That's all for today. Bye now.

Real, live updates! Can you believe it? So, they're not as extensive as I had planned. Yet. But it's something, right?

For the second time in a week, I've seen the phrase "betwixt and between" in print. Perhaps the word does not mean what I think it means. Either that or redudancy is coming into journalistic fashion.

I got a second interview with the promising company I mentioned last week. I guess the first interview went better than I thought. Maybe queen laura will have a real, live job soon and will be able to extract herself from temp purgatory. It's an Editorial Assistant position, and getting an Editorial Assistant position was the whole reason I moved to Boston. I'm well on my way to world domination.

The weather is fantastic. So of course it's supposed to snow later this week. Bastards.

Yeah, my life is boring. If I could write about my secret agent undercover life, this website would be much more interesting.

It appears our grassroots campaign for the re-emergence of the word "betwixt" is beginning to show results. And even though the word is, well, superfluous in this particular sentence, one small step for "betwixt," one giant step for...oh nevermind.

I promised I would have new and improved smarmy content elsewhere at the site about 2 weeks ago, and as you've likely noticed, no such thing has occurred at this juncture. That's because I'm a lazy bum. I'd like to blame it on some kind of writer's block and lack of inspiration, because that excuse at least appears to have some heft and substance to it. But no. I'm just a lazy bum.

Our party was rad. I saw Spoon the band last night and they were Spoonirific. I have a very promising job interview tomorrow. I've been reading some very excellent books. I haven't been getting nearly enough sleep. I've been trying to continue my recent venture into the world of linoleum printmaking. This is my life. There isn't very much writing in it these days.

But there will be. I should stop making promises, but I can very nearly almost guarantee that in the next few weeks you will find on the Smarmy Alligator:
-A review of the splendid Spoon show
-A review of "Leaving Atlanta," and quite possibly an interview with the author, Tayari Jones
-An article on temping and the current working environment
-More advice from Wilson Phillips and other pop stars past their moment of glory
-Probably some other stuff

So I got in trouble for "using the internet for personal reasons" here at work. Hence, updates are going to be even more infrequent until I can figure out how to get myself a computer at home.

This temp job is crap.

But it's April 1, meaning it's almost spring (even though it snowed yesterday), and we're having a party this weekend. So I'm trying not to care about how much crap this job is.

Yeah.